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If it GLISTENS, gobble it!! But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade? Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!! Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either! .. FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, BLACK STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY!.. Are there any QUESTIONS?? Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT... FOOLED you! Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!! GOOD-NIGHT, everybody.. Now I have to go administer FIRST-AID to my pet LEISURE SUIT!! He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he'd like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess I should call AL PACINO! I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN? Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!! KARL MALDEN'S NOSE just won an ACADEMY AWARD!! Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you.. I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE.. I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS... My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK and THE MYSTERIANS"... Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23\% of the SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!! On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and watch REGIS PHILBIN.. It's GREAT to be ALIVE!! PUNK ROCK!! DISCO DUCK!! BIRTH CONTROL!! QUIET!! I'm being CREATIVE!! Is it GREAT yet? It's s'posed to SMOKEY THE BEAR... Remember, if you try to ESCAPE, many APARTMENT HOPPING ALCOHOLICS will SIMONIZE your HALLWAYS!! This is your LAST WARNING!! Sometime in 1993 NANCY SINATRA will lead a BLOODLESS COUP on GUAM!! Then, it's off to RED CHINA!! UH-OH!! I put on ``GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's'' by mistake!!! Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and TAX-DEFERRED! What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK... Xerox your lunch and file it under ``sex offenders!''

José M. Vidal .

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